Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
How to “Reconfigure” Your Bad Boss
4May 2010
Recently TOTs have been in the news again, ex. in NY Daily News, AOL Jobs and Women Entrepreneur, to name just a few. My latest Psychology Today article deals with several most distinctive features of a really bad boss – Terrible Office Tyrant – that you need to be able to handle:
How to “Reconfigure” Your Bad Boss
They have meltdowns, require on-going maintenance, deny you access, overwhelm you with information, mangle data, have memory lapses and malfunction when you need them most. Computer acting up? These signs of trouble are from employees having to deal with bad bosses who revert to illogical two-year olds when you least expect it.
Unfortunately, you can’t just turn your bad boss in for an upgrade. (Wouldn’t that be nice?) With some practice you can learn to manage them and get them to do what you want without patronizing or losing your job. First you have to figure out what type of terrible office tyrant — TOT for short — you’re dealing with and then “rewire” him or her to your advantage. With your newfound empowering tools, some preventive maintenance, practice, and a lot of diplomacy you can tame your TOT and thrive in your career.
The Top Five Bad Boss Traits
Although I list twenty toxic boss traits in Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, I receive complaints and feedback about these the most: tantrum-throwing, demanding, needy, stubborn and distracted. Some bosses can demonstrate one, two or more.
Tantrum-throwing
Your day may be going along nicely when, “boom”, your boss suddenly has a meltdown and throws a tantrum to rival a tired toddler. “Yikes!” You could quickly hide under your desk in hopes that he’ll just as quickly recover (they often do) but that doesn’t solve the problem. You shouting “No! Not now!” doesn’t help. Having a meaningful and constructive dialogue about the problem isn’t going to happen either. These bosses cannot manage difficult situations where they’re powerless, especially if your work led to the problem, or if you’re in his line of fire.
Preventive Measures
• Determine the best time of day and day of the week to approach your over-the-top TOT: not right before lunch; Monday mornings; stock collapses or other setbacks.
• When you sense a tantrum coming on, don’t hang around for the fireworks. If you’re dragged in, let your boss vent at first; never fight a tantrum with a tantrum.
• Consider the acronym CALM: Communicate, Anticipate, Laugh and Manage. Keep the lines of communication open; anticipate problems and solutions; use humor (it’s the great diffuser); and manage up by being a positive, proactive problem solver.
Demanding
Your high-maintenance boss wants everything “Yesterday!” color-coded in shades of purple, right-justified every other paragraph and other demanding details that make little sense to you. Then she e-mails you every hour until you get it done. The need for control, desire for perfection, or concern about deadline pressures from above can spur your over-demanding boss to constantly control and check your every move.
Preventive Measures
• Set expectations through regular meetings. When your boss gives you a new assignment, give her an estimate of how long it will take.
• Let your manager know when you are feeling overwhelmed and help her to organize a priority task list.
• Upon successful completion of a project, tell your boss how mutual, realistic goals helped you to accomplish it, to reinforce the positive outcome.
Needy
Your boss just finished a successful presentation and now he’s telling you everything that was said word-by-word, then asks, “What do you think?” You assure him that his presentation was great and the clients were impressed, yet he talks on and on while you keep checking your watch and looking at the pile of work that still needs to be done. Needy bosses require a lot of attention and reassurance, but some needy bosses can also micromanage your every move.
Preventive Measures
• Encourage your TOT’s independence and reinforce his own competence.
• Put a plan together to help your boss strategize about how to cover excessive workloads.
• Help your boss learn that other people — and not just you — can serve him as well.
Stubborn
Your team agrees on a solution to a pesky problem. You present it to the boss and she says, “No! That can’t be done.” Your ideas are shot down and the door is figuratively slammed in your face. Access denied. No compromise. For many stubborn office tyrants, compromise takes them out of their comfort zone. In other cases, they feel it diminishes their stature.
Preventive Measures
• Use positive language to relax your boss when she’s stuck in a stubborn rut.
• Know that it’s easier for TOTs to be more flexible if there’s something in it for them.
• Offer choices and compromises that empower your TOT.
Distracted
Your boss was supposed to give you some key facts for VIP clients two days ago. When you remind her, she says, “Oh, of course. I forgot! I’ll send them right over.” Six hours later nothing has arrived in your inbox. You find out she’s gone to take her dog to the poodle parlor. Bosses like this suffer from BADD—Boss Attention Deficit Disorder. They’re only interested in what seems important at any given moment in time and have trouble paying attention to you.
Preventive Measures
• Make communications compelling. Present your thoughts in a powerful, interactive way to prevent detours.
• Add a pinch of excitement. Use props, visual aids, and humor to keep your manager engaged and on target.
• Manage interruptions. Schedule formal meetings (outside your TOT’s office if possible), so that your boss will be better prepared— and less likely to lose focus.
There’s a good chance you’ve encountered more than one bad boss in you career. Who knows, maybe you even act like one yourself on occasion. Just remember, unlike your computer, your boss is human and should be treated as someone who has intelligence and feelings. We are not machines. Everyone can play a role in humanizing the workplace with greater sensitivity to what’s really behind that bad boss facade.
Tempreneur: A New Breed of Free Agent
26March 2010
Whatever pundits say about the economic recovery prospects, one thing is clear: this recession will leave a few changes in its wake in the way companies organize their workforce.
The last decade saw a series of turbulent employment times and produced a gradual sea change on both the employer and employee front, sped up by the current recession. This year seems to underscore the shift: a need for more flexible or contingent workers as a permanent business solution.
Forced by economic uncertainty and trying to avoid rounds of layoffs, employers are making contingent workers integral to their strategic workforce planning. All the usual elements are there: temporary workers, from agencies, independent contractors or freelancers; outsourced employees; part-timers; and consultants. But a new phenomenon is coming into play, different from all those: the free agent with a new mindset and career goal; what I call the tempreneur.
How is it new and different? Because it is not driven by a necessity to make ends meet between full-time jobs; rather, it’s a personal career choice. Temporary workers go from project to project, usually onsite. Entrepreneurs have made a career decision to work for themselves, usually off-site. Tempreneurs constitute a sort of hybrid between the two.
Similar, Yet Different
While they are unique by comparison to most workers of prior decades, there is still some overlap. For example, tempreneurs must collaborate and work on a mutual agreeable schedule with the client, much as consultants do, but there are important differences:
- Tempreneurs are more senior than the average temporary
- Most temporaries require much more supervision than tempreneurs
- On the flip side, oftentimes consultants are more senior than tempreneurs, and they leave much of the execution to the client
- Since tempreneurs are not as senior as consultants, they fill much of the massive middle ground in meeting workload demands
A New Breed of Free Agent
Many high level employees have lost faith in “job security” as they once knew it. For tempreneurs, independence is more important than that old mirage, and mid- to high-level stints allow them to keep their freedom. They may even have a sole proprietorship of their own and/or even be a high level temporary at an agency at times during the year. They may work in such widely ranging fields as marketing, accounting, information technology, health care or legal.
A tempreneur has real talent, experience and professionalism — and choices. They are not seeking full-time positions. In the coming decade, they are more likely to be more wooed by employers to join their full-time ranks – with all the associated “perks.” But those bennies now come with a heavy price, such as lack of freedom and job insecurity, for many. Employers unfamiliar with the potential contributions of tempreneurs will have to realize that they are a force to reckon with in the decade ahead and beyond; a new brand of employee – not a “temp.”
Of course, regular, full time employees will never vanish. Companies need the stability and consistency of a core staff. But entrepreneurship is on the rise (as this Entrepreneur article) and at the same time, many realize the start up costs involved with a full-fledged business – which nudges a lot of talented and motivated people towards joining the tempreneur ranks.
A Longer Road from Temp to Perm
A recent Associated Press article talks about the boost in temporary hiring as usually signaling a recovery – yet this period has been protracted, with no rebound. It’s clear that for 2010 and beyond employers are adopting a variety of strategies to organize and manage contingent workers and have them work into existing system.
Staffing Industry Review Magazine reported in January 2010 that Bill Yoh, Chairman of staffing agency Yoh, believes many companies will use 2010 as an opportunity to begin projects they had put on the back burner for the past couple of years. He said, “As this happens, there will be an increase in the demand for contingent workers.” He added, “Most HR executives are now charged with a responsibility for comprehensive workforce strategies, and contingent labor will be a key part of this going forward.”
So whether you are a seasoned freelancer, a dedicated career builder, or anything in between, tempreneur is a phenomenon
that you can’t afford to overlook in the years ahead. In any case, you may need to upgrade your “career currency” — to be competent enough to join their ranks, or to successfully compete in the workplace.
A Disappearing Act
16March 2010
If your boss ignores your e-mails, is impossible to get hold of and is totally disinterested in anything work-related, you certainly should be concerned. Whatever may be the reason, an “absentee boss” can be an obstacle to your own success. A recent MSNBC article reviews several authors suggesting ways to tackle the issue. In my book I clarify this problem and offer solutions.
When communication stops for no apparent reason, you naturally wonder if you’re in hot water. No feedback on your report, your e-mails remain unanswered, and as you’re running out of tricks to coax a response from your distant TOT, your anxiety keeps growing. The problem is that it’s not easy to tell whether you are being consciously frozen out or simply overlooked—because the behavior in both cases appears the same.
Here is what I suggest:
Schedule Regular Meetings. Urge your boss to meet with you regularly and explain the benefits from his perspective – how it would help with your project. Suggest an agenda, frequency (such as once a week), and several possible time slots. Keep the meetings brief and on schedule. Regular meetings eliminate the need to constantly chase your boss down. But to ensure that the meetings actually happen, send a reminder a few hours ahead of time.
Level with Your TOT. Express your concern, try to find out why you are being ignored. You might discover that it has nothing to do with you—it could be pressure or too much work. On the other hand, if your performance is the issue, ask for honest feedback so that you can remedy any problems.
Repackage Your Ideas. Study your TOT’s routines and find new ways to get attention. Instead of sending long e-mails, package your messages and reports in a concise, easy-to-read format. Make your meetings and presentations visually interesting, interactive, and lively. If you can make boss’ work more enjoyable in general, you’ll get better response.
Do Some Detective Work. Try to put yourself in your TOT’s shoes, and think about why your boss might need space from you. Ask your colleagues for clues. Have they been having trouble getting your TOT’s attention? You may learn the boss is juggling too many projects to deal with you—or you may confirm that he hates talking to his team. If the latter is true, keep sleuthing . . . through online job listings.
In the end, whether your boss is displeased, disorganized, or overworked, it’s still your job on the line, so it falls to you to get communication flowing again.
Be Your Own Valentine
13February 2010
As I recently wrote in Psychology Today, this Valentine’s Day many couples may not feel very festive — or romantic — given their current job situation. In fact, in many conversations these days, I hear workplace and job concerns becoming all-consuming in people’s lives.
Thirteen hours in a five-day workweek are spent worrying about one’s job fate, and similar studies are in my earlier blogs. Even when people are employed, many of them feel tenuous in their jobs due to uncertain economic times and often challenging bosses.
Maybe you’ve tried counseling your special someone, reviewing a resume, role playing an interview or trying to empathize about an unreasonable manager. Time for a romantic toast anyone?
Perhaps this year, you can let cupid’s arrow hit YOUR OWN world, specifically your career and job.
Maybe this year, you can be your own Valentine, even if for a moment. Love yourself enough to be proud of your skills that no one can take away from you; your accomplishments; and the incredible ability you have in the future to achieve great things.
For starters, you can take control, rather than letting your career or job control you. Here are some simple empowering reminders that can make your life – and perhaps your Valentine’s day more fulfilling:
1) Remember that you’re a free agent. Yes, unemployment is high, but you have a skills set that is unique and if you’re currently looking, all you need is one job. The best jobs are not always advertised. Often they’re found through networking, especially with the availability of social media tools, such as Linkedin.
2) Think about how your skills can contribute to the bottom line. Then share it and get the nod to pursue it. Are there weak links in your existing company or a prospective company that could mean greater profits? Many jobs have been created for people who can bring in revenue or reduce costs.
3) Use your interpersonal intelligence with bad boss behavior (or Terrible Office Tyrants – TOTs) to understand what’s really behind the blustering. Usually there’s a lot more beyond what meets the eye. Once you crack the code, you’ll see events through a new lens, helping you focus and thrive.
4) Try to resist the natural temptation to allow others’ tension devour you. Realize that you can take specific steps to manage relationships on your terms. Your leverage is your daily contributions and unique skills. That’s your focus. Your own success is the best revenge, but remember, revenge is usually an unsustainable motivator.
Happy Valentine’s Day …to YOU.
In Case You Missed
Just in case you missed these articles in the last few weeks, please take a look; they offer some helpful input on trends, surveys and maybe a few laughs:
- Glamour
- Orange County Register
- AOL WalletPop
- Contingent Workforce Strategies
How to Lose (or Save) Your Job
25January 2010
In my new PsychologyToday.com article I discuss some interesting findings from the recent survey.
“It’s all in the packaging” applies to more than the latest irresistible gift you bought. It also has a lot to do with how you package your actions and verbal communications at work. Case in point: an independent study we released recently showed that employees spend 19.2 hours in a seven-day week (13 hours during the work week and 6.2 hours on the weekend) worrying about what their boss said or did!
But what about you? How can your daily words and actions be presented so that you advance in your job? This article is based on research that helps identify how you can manage up, which comes in handy with a diffucult boss, in difficult times. And if you work for such a boss - a TOT (Terrible Office Tyrant) - what statements would you never communicate?
While this latter part of the study - verbatim responses from U.S. employees - is more lighthearted, it does illustrate that many offices today unfortunately resemble a corporate playpen, and that there’s room for improvement. Let’s first take a look at saving your current job.
In a national independent study of 586 employees commissioned by Lynn Taylor Consulting, we asked, “What techniques do you believe work for employees who must ‘manage up’ with childish bosses?” Here’s how their answers ranked:
1) Strong listening and communications skills
2) Demonstrating calm under pressure
3) Being a good role model for leadership and respect
4) Proactive problem solving
5) Working around a boss’s strength’s and weaknesses
6) Using humor
7) Showing empathy
This research helped lead me to my favorite acronym, not only for saving your job, which certainly helps during a period of 10 percent unemployment - but also for thriving in it. It’s called “CALM” -Communicate (openly, honestly and frequently); Anticipate (remain aware of potential problems before they escalate and offer proactive solutions); Laugh (use levity to diffuse tension and create a bonding atmosphere; and Manage (manage up, or “parent” without patronizing, by using positive and negative reinforcement with certain behaviors, e.g., by setting limits to poor behavior).
How to Lose Your Job
If you consider yourself a maverick, need that extra push to become a permanent entrepreneur - or always wanted to know what it’s like to burn your bridges, then you can follow the lead of what some employees dreamof saying at work! In a related study, we asked employees to state what they would say to bosses who slip into “TOTdom” (childish behavior), if there was no reprisal.
This is not to say that all employees or support teams aren’t capable of behaving like TOTs themselves! If you subscribe to the theory that we all share the same basic human instincts, needs and fears, then it stands to reason that TOTs run across the org chart, whether we’re two or 52. With that caveat in mind, here’s what employees would say (in their dreams) to TOTs, in order of priority:
1. Why don’t we compromise? (P.S. This is the only phraseology that does work with both children and managers!)
2. I can’t hear you when you shout!
3. Stop whining!
4. That’s not allowed!
5. I’m leaving!
6. You’re cranky; do you need a nap?
7. Go to your room; you’re getting a time out!
8. If you ask one more time, you’ll never get that!
9. Are you teething or do you just need a cookie?
Saving your job might be the choice for now, avoiding that temptation to be the “maverick” - and giving you time to seek greener pastures if necessary. But if it helps to use humor to get you through the day, you can always remember these nine phrases that gave our respondents at least some temporary solace.
