Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Managing Mood Swings
13January 2012
Wouldn’t it be nice to start the New Year in an office that is a sea of calm rather than an ocean of nauseating ups and downs? A moody, bad boss can make your job and workplace constantly turbulent.
As I explain in my latest Psychology Today blog, How To Manage Your Boss’s Mood Swings, bad bosses can display inexplicable, hair-trigger mood swings without warning, similar to teething toddlers. They start out the morning as giddy charmers, then morph into raging bulls by afternoon. But how can you create a sea of calm?
Fortunately, you can “tame your terrible office tyrant” by using the five tips I offer on how to handle a moody manager. By taming your TOT now, you’ll be able to navigate your way through rough waters and experience smooth sailing.
Five Things Not to Do in a Job Interview
25October 2011
In my latest article for Psychology Today I talk about winning in that high-stake game – the job interview. Seemingly insignificant mistakes can lead to a job opportunity slamming shut in your face. But putting attention on a few key things and keeping a positive attitude will help you to get through. Here is a snippet:
You haven’t had a job in months, money is tight, and you’re losing patience in your search. Then you get “the call!” You secure a job interview and think, “Did this hiring manager misdial? “Did I just hit the lottery?” You leave your home for the appointment, but your downbeat persona follows you. If you’re finding that during interviews, your posture, expression and responses show you’re not on top of your game—stop the presses! It’s time to hit “reset” if you really want to land a great job.
It’s very easy to become jaded after countless failed job search efforts, but you can make a concerted effort to change your attitude to the positive. If it’s any easier, consider it a challenge to try a new mindset. Even if you won the Nobel Peace Prize—twice—a negative tone would offset that lofty achievement! Most everyone can afford to take their level of enthusiasm up a notch during job interviews—and they will likely increase their odds of success significantly.
Although you might have regretted an interview response or two in the past, as most mortals have, you can avoid some faux pas by knowing some of the more common pitfalls in advance. For the five DON’Ts and Do’s to help you shine in your next job interview, read the article at PsychologyToday.com
Turn a Distant Boss Into an Interested One
27September 2011
In my recent article for Psychology Today I consider one pretty unpleasant workplace situation – when your boss is behaving like a passive-aggressive kid, blocking communication and leaving you high and dry, not knowing what to do and what to expect. Don’t despair – there is a lot you can do. Read on.
Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive Boss
If you’ve ever experienced the great shut-out from a passive-aggressive boss, you know how nerve-wracking such treatment can be. And if you’ve followed the dynamics of the “Terrible Office Tyrant” or “TOT,” you can easily picture your boss as a child who doesn’t get his way and chooses to ignore you. But you can empower yourself to manage this kind of boss - and create a less stressful, more healthy job environment for yourself. It’s a career skill you can take to any job.
Let’s first analyze what exactly is going on here. It’s one thing to have a toddler cross his arms and refuse to acknowledge you because you’ve locked away the cookie jar. It’s quite another to have a grown adult shun you for no discernible reason with more outwardly sophisticated, workplace mind games.
When a manager treats you like you have the plague, your first natural thought is: “What did I do?!” You feel you’re in hot water, but don’t see any obvious reasons for it. You whip up your trusted arsenal of “tricks” to coax a response from your suddenly distant TOT. But as those fail, your anxiety grows. As the silent treatment goes on, you’re increasingly haunted by prospects of a pink slip.
Your elusive TOT isn’t necessarily trying to punish you or make you fearful. The problem is that it’s not easy to know where you stand. You may feel consciously frozen out, get stared at blankly, or even smiled at in an insincere manner. Yes, it’s very possible that your passive-aggressive TOT of a boss may be angry with you - or be aware of some impending bad news, such as a layoff.
But it’s also possible that he might simply be overwhelmed, distracted, self-absorbed, or oblivious. Either way, you can take control and be the wise “parent”. If you don’t take matters into your own hands, you may be headed for a pretty disappointing stretch in your career.
For more, including some important (and funny) dos and don’ts, read the complete article on psychologytoday.com.
Can You Innovate AND Manage Like Steve?
5September 2011
Recent departure of Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple sent some major ripples throughout the business community. There is a universal feeling, though (reflected in the way its shares’ prices behaved after the news), that it’s not going to weaken Apple in any way. Being a truly great leader, Jobs has made Apple the best a company can be — a perfect fusion of cutting-edge creativity and business genius. In my recent article for Psychology Today I take a look at what makes a great leader and what would enable every manager to be a Steve Jobs for his own team. Here’s an excerpt (or, better yet, read the whole article here):
Some believe you’re either a business leader (great motivator or figurehead, for example) or a creative type who quietly sits in the corner like the gifted (or “mad” scientist) — and bingo, another killer product is born! Well perhaps we now have highly visible evidence that you can do both, although the leadership side is much easier to dissect.
For example, the most innovative work environment you can create is one where it’s safe for success - one that allows your team to take risks and offer suggestions for improvements, even if small mistakes occur. Some of the best advancements in a company come from people who are in customer-facing positions, on the front lines.
In one national independent study we commissioned among 586 workers, 91 percent felt that it’s positive for morale when managers even change course after getting employee feedback. Too often, there’s a logjam of ideas emanating from your people up the chain of command — due to territorialism. So things stay status quo.
Steve Jobs and Apple kept to the vision, but also kept the pulse on the ever-changing customers needs, 24/7, as the best marketers do.
Certainly Apple has its challenges ahead. But do you - in trying to create a fertile environment for creativity while managing a team? Do you seek to make your workplace safe for success? I would venture that some of these approaches came naturally to Steve and will be part of the continuing management culture.
For tips on how to be a good leader, continue to PsychologyToday.com
Tame Your “Horrible Boss”
19July 2011
If you’ve seen the new movie “Horrible Bosses”, there’s a good chance it made you think of someone you have to deal with on a daily basis. The movie’s exaggerated villains reminded me of childish behavior I have so often observed in real life. In my recent article for Psychology Today I reviewed some of the more common behaviors of “baby bosses”.
Tame Your “Horrible Boss”
How to Manage a Big Bad Baby of a Boss
He looks like an adult, but if you make a blunder just before lunchtime, watch out! In other words, some bosses can easily revert to fussy, unrestrained babies in corporate suits. While out-of-line behaviors portrayed in “Horrible Bosses” are thankfully more fiction than the norm, you may be facing disguised babies in their terrible twos, otherwise known as a Terrible Office Tyrants - or TOTs for short. Rather than contemplating extreme measures from the popular movie, you can tame the more typical “bad boss” - and even thrive in the process. (A lot less palatable than serving jail time!)
If your boss is often: stubborn, demanding, fickle, self-centered, has a short attention span (afflicted with B.A.D.D. for Boss Attention Deficit Disorder), needy, whiny or throws tantrums - just a few of the classic 20 childish, bad boss types from Tame Your Terrible Office TyrantTM: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley) - you can take steps to save your sanity and your job.
Even though the baby of a boss would be “helpless” without you, you needn’t give up your power. No need to be a servant or a saboteur, but rather a savvy survivor who can outsmart naughty behavior. See if these parallel behavior excerpts strike a chord. Then consider some of the tips that follow.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: STUBBORN
Toddler Behavior 1: Your toddler refuses to go to bed even when his head rolls to the side, his puzzle piece falls out of his hands, and drool rolls down his chin.
TOT Behavior 1: Your TOT refuses to end a late meeting, even after the staff begins tapping, the janitors turn off hallway lights, and your boss begins nodding off himself.
Toddler Behavior 2: She tries to stick the hippo puzzle piece into the guppy-shaped hole 20,000 times, and gets angry when you offer the correct piece. She angrily rejects your suggestion and goes back to pounding Harry Hippo into Gary Guppy’s tail.
TOT Behavior 2: Your boss uses the same ineffective sales pitch 20,000 times and gets angry when you suggest that she try something new. “This exact pitch built this company,” she hisses.
TIPS
• Temper your boss’s obstinacy by giving him choices and having a back-up plan.
• Choose your words carefully when making requests.
• Listen intently, so you allow your TOT to be heard.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: FICKLE
Toddler Behavior 1: Your toddler announces his favorite color is green. He will only wear green from now on. After you scramble to assemble an all-green wardrobe, he declares: “My favorite color is yellow,” and will only wear yellow.
TOT Behavior 1: Your TOT insists on a suit-and-tie dress code one week, then switches to business casual the next, and then back to suits again, leaving staffers scrambling to adjust their wardrobes.
Toddler Behavior 2: On Monday, your toddler says Jim is his best friend. Tuesday, it’s Sam. Wednesday, it’s David. Thursday…
TOT Behavior 2: On Monday, your baby-in-disguise TOT says Anne is the department’s top performer. Tuesday, it’s Ellen. Wednesday, it’s Martha. Thursday…
TIPS
• Like a toddler in a toy store, your “horrible boss” may be immobilized by the vast possibilities. Don’t give her lots of choices, just recommend what you know works.
• Be in command, make a plan and structure her day so she follows the path of your choice.
• Pick your battles. Be sure that when you decide to argue with your boss, the reasons are valid.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: SHORT ATTENTION SPAN
Toddler Behavior 1: Your child eats five chocolate cookies she got from a friend and spends the afternoon playing “trampoline” on the sofa, her bed, your bed, and the dog.
TOT Behavior 1: After her third espresso, you notice that your boss is talking on her cell phone, glancing at a webinar, checking e-mail, and texting while “listening” to you.
Toddler Behavior 2: You’re in a hurry and try to get your toddler to dress himself so you won’t be late for the kiddie gym class, again. He runs from room to room, turning it into a game, not noticing that you’re not smiling.
TOT Behavior 2: Your TOT brings you along so you can talk as he’s heading down to his car. However, he stops at every desk along the way to “touch base.” You never get to say anything except “Bye-bye.”
TIPS
• Help yourself by keeping your baby/boss from having a mind that wanders. In meetings, focus on the objectives and make sure communications are lively and interesting.
• Babies like bright colors. Baby bosses like bright colors. Make your pie charts accordingly.
• Be vigilant. With a very busy boss, you have to watch for opportunities that will allow you to get his or her attention.
Toddler/Boss Parallels: TANTRUMS
Toddler Behavior 1: He won’t let you near his toys, because you always end up taking them from him.
TOT Behavior 1: He won’t let you near his pet project because he prefers to let his “yes men” work on it.
Toddler Behavior 2: She yells, “No, no, no, spinach is yucky! Noooooo!”
TOT Behavior 2: She yells, “No, no, no, don’t you know how to write a proposal? You did it all wrong. Noooooo!”
TIPS
One of the most glaring similarities between toddlers and TOT bosses is that when faced with a situation out of their control, they resort to rage and tantrums. When a toddler feels his authority is being threatened, watch out! His displaced rage (a good boss admits his mistakes and moves on; a bad boss blames you) can make you a target unless you know how to step out of the way. Then you are best served to use positive and negative reinforcement when things settle down and role model positive behavior. (More on this in prior blogs.)
Change Your Thinking (Think Professional Pacifying, with Boundaries) You can make a difference in your job and in the workplace - and enact change, if there’s something in it for your boss. Learn to manage your TOT through a professional form of pacifying, but with clear limits and boundaries. You will help preserve your sanity, ease tension, and keep your workload manageable. And you won’t have to hire Jamie Foxx to solve your “horrible boss” dilemma.
