Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Does Your Boss Trust You?
22July 2010
Workplace issues are never out of the public discussion. Here are some recent media highlights: CBS News talks on “How to Handle Toxic Bosses“; BusinessWeek discusses “maltweetment” – people using social networking to get back at their higher-ups and co-workers; Time analyzes a New York state bill that targets workplace bullying ; and AOL DimeCrunch highlights a new job market tendency, the “tempreneur,” that is giving many people a renewed feeling of job security.
In my recent Psychology Today article I talk about another issue that can give you trouble at work: bosses who have an “employee trust deficit.”
Does your boss pop into your office at the most unexpected times to check up on you? Does he ask endless questions, micro-manage your work schedule or demand to know exactly what you’re doing? Do you want to take on more responsibility, but your ideas get shot down?
Some employees prefer having dialog with their bosses over feeling ignored. But there is a fine line between frequent communication and micro-management. Very often, a hovering, meddling boss leaves little incentive for you to produce your best work - because you believe that in the final analysis the end product won’t be yours.
Ironically, many managers feel that they are providing a service to their team members. At times, managers with the best intentions may not realize that they are not being a devoted mentor, but rather an unwitting menace. You are left feeling as if there is little or no trust in your decision-making.
The trust gap between bosses and employees can be mutually self-perpetuating. The same lack of trust in your judgment begets mistrust in your boss. This gap is at the root of significant downtime in your job, which clearly isn’t helpful to you or your company.
Read more about the importance of mutual trust and find suggestions on how to handle the problem here.
Is Your Boss Ignoring You?
23June 2010
In my latest Psychology Today article I address the issue of a boss who behaves like you don’t even exist (yes, it happens sometimes). Here is an excerpt:
Your performance is good, you are getting the job done without making big waves. But at the back of your mind there’s a persistent thought: it would be nice if your boss answered your e-mails or acknowledged your stellar work on that critical report. Being ignored can trigger a cascade of wasteful worries that don’t help your performance at all.
Often, it’s not about you. Your boss could be overwhelmed and distracted with other tasks or trying to solve big problems in little time – and in this case you are in no danger.
It could also be that your boss is feeling powerless. So in order to feel some semblance of control managers may act as if they’re too important to have time for you. Or, if there is a problem between you and your boss, instead of facing uncomfortable situations he may find it easier to just tune you out.
Boost Your Visibility
Keeping a low profile when you are ignored would be a mistake. Instead you need to increase your visibility and step up your role. The more indispensable you are, the better.
Make an effort to get your boss’ attention when you need it.
Points to Consider:
• Being ignored is no fun, but try not to take it personally. Your boss might simply be busy or preoccupied.
• Find out the reason by asking directly and by asking your colleagues.
• If you’ve done something to irritate or disappoint your manager, try to communicate with your ignoring TOT in a nonthreatening, constructive way.
• Make it easy for your boss: set up regular meeting times, keep the meetings short, and make your reports or presentations are appealing and creative.
If nothing else, getting in front of the problem will release a lot of tension. At best, it will mitigate the problem and perhaps even strengthen the relationship.
Read the whole article here: PsychologyToday.com
Respectful Workplace, Part II
1June 2010
RespectfulWorkplace published the second part of my interview. Here are a couple of excerpts:
RW: In your book, you mention creating a “humanized workplace.” Could you please describe for our readers what that would look like?
LT: In today’s high-tech environment, sometimes “humanity” can be forgotten. A humanized workplace is a collaborative work environment in which everyone puts the larger good of the company first. It is the reverse of a corporate playground rampant with TOTs. It’s a workplace that has a family feeling to it, where fun and humor are not just tolerated, but encouraged. Where teams are inspired by their leaders to innovate and work toward a common goal. It’s a place where people want to work, not a corporate playground.
RW: Give us an example of a successful managing up of a TOT and how it benefited the employees and the company.
LT: Ryan worked for an elusive TOT who ignored him for reasons Ryan couldn’t fathom. He would e-mail her with an important question and rarely get a response. However, she would drop by his office to tell him nonstop about her own projects, then leave. When he tried asking about his own projects, he couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Ryan worried about his boss’s behavior. Was she angry; was there going to be a layoff; was his work not up to par?
Although nonassertive by nature, Ryan decided to take action and manage up. When his boss came around to talk, he rolled his chair around his desk and sat next to her with a crucial report in his hand on which he needed her feedback, effectively blocking the doorway. When Ryan brought up the report, she tried to make her exit, but was boxed in. Ryan got to ask his question because she realized that there was give and take involved, even if it meant through Ryan’s non-verbal skills.
Ryan also learned that he had to catch her when she was available (often doling out projects) if he needed her attention. He’s been proactive ever since by getting his materials together for a moment’s notice visit; making his needs more concise, and posing most everything into a “yes” or “no” question.
The result? His questions get answered, his work runs more smoothly and she tells him he’s doing a great job. Ryan’s approval worries have subsided and his projects have become more streamlined.
Read the whole interview at RespectfulWorkplace.com
Respectful Workplace
10May 2010
Last year I started guest-blogging at RespectfulWorkplace.com – a website whose mission is very close to my heart. Devoted to “fostering awareness and providing resources for creating more respect in the workplace,” RespectfulWorkplace.com is a collaborative project between Edge Learning Institute of Ohio (EdgeOhio) and Edge Learning Institute, a global provider of leadership and staff development services that help companies and non-profits improve management competencies, enhance customer service and improve employee engagement. The website’s goal is “to create an online community of people interested in creating and nurturing workplace environments where diversity and inclusiveness are not only recognized, but appreciated and celebrated.”
Respectful Workplace provides a rich variety of resources such as speakers, publications and articles that further this commitment. Identifying “flexibility and respect as core competencies for success,” they offer interactive educational programs, workshops, and seminars that help organizations improve their workplace culture. They welcome outside contributors and invite like-minded people to share their thoughts.
Respectful Workplace blog, to which I’m proud to be a contributor, is a great source of ideas and insights coming from both RW team and guest bloggers. Recently I’ve been interviewed by Respectful Workplace about my book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant (John Wiley & Sons, Inc.). Here is a short exerpt:
RW: Could you describe what “managing up” is and how it applies to today’s workforce?
LT: By seeing the childlike motives behind a boss’s (or co-worker’s) actions, you can better manage even the most difficult situations. Managing up means going above and beyond the assigned tasks so you can support your manager and let yourself shine by being a proactive problem-solver and collaborator.
You can be a beacon of positive energy for your boss, co-workers and team. Part of managing up also means setting limits to bad behavior. Oftentimes TOTs are unaware of the effect of their actions. You can influence these actions, and your skills will be transferable to any job.
Read the rest of the interview (with the 2nd part coming next week) on the Respectful Workplace blog.
How to “Reconfigure” Your Bad Boss
4May 2010
Recently TOTs have been in the news again, ex. in NY Daily News, AOL Jobs and Women Entrepreneur, to name just a few. My latest Psychology Today article deals with several most distinctive features of a really bad boss – Terrible Office Tyrant – that you need to be able to handle:
How to “Reconfigure” Your Bad Boss
They have meltdowns, require on-going maintenance, deny you access, overwhelm you with information, mangle data, have memory lapses and malfunction when you need them most. Computer acting up? These signs of trouble are from employees having to deal with bad bosses who revert to illogical two-year olds when you least expect it.
Unfortunately, you can’t just turn your bad boss in for an upgrade. (Wouldn’t that be nice?) With some practice you can learn to manage them and get them to do what you want without patronizing or losing your job. First you have to figure out what type of terrible office tyrant — TOT for short — you’re dealing with and then “rewire” him or her to your advantage. With your newfound empowering tools, some preventive maintenance, practice, and a lot of diplomacy you can tame your TOT and thrive in your career.
The Top Five Bad Boss Traits
Although I list twenty toxic boss traits in Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, I receive complaints and feedback about these the most: tantrum-throwing, demanding, needy, stubborn and distracted. Some bosses can demonstrate one, two or more.
Tantrum-throwing
Your day may be going along nicely when, “boom”, your boss suddenly has a meltdown and throws a tantrum to rival a tired toddler. “Yikes!” You could quickly hide under your desk in hopes that he’ll just as quickly recover (they often do) but that doesn’t solve the problem. You shouting “No! Not now!” doesn’t help. Having a meaningful and constructive dialogue about the problem isn’t going to happen either. These bosses cannot manage difficult situations where they’re powerless, especially if your work led to the problem, or if you’re in his line of fire.
Preventive Measures
• Determine the best time of day and day of the week to approach your over-the-top TOT: not right before lunch; Monday mornings; stock collapses or other setbacks.
• When you sense a tantrum coming on, don’t hang around for the fireworks. If you’re dragged in, let your boss vent at first; never fight a tantrum with a tantrum.
• Consider the acronym CALM: Communicate, Anticipate, Laugh and Manage. Keep the lines of communication open; anticipate problems and solutions; use humor (it’s the great diffuser); and manage up by being a positive, proactive problem solver.
Demanding
Your high-maintenance boss wants everything “Yesterday!” color-coded in shades of purple, right-justified every other paragraph and other demanding details that make little sense to you. Then she e-mails you every hour until you get it done. The need for control, desire for perfection, or concern about deadline pressures from above can spur your over-demanding boss to constantly control and check your every move.
Preventive Measures
• Set expectations through regular meetings. When your boss gives you a new assignment, give her an estimate of how long it will take.
• Let your manager know when you are feeling overwhelmed and help her to organize a priority task list.
• Upon successful completion of a project, tell your boss how mutual, realistic goals helped you to accomplish it, to reinforce the positive outcome.
Needy
Your boss just finished a successful presentation and now he’s telling you everything that was said word-by-word, then asks, “What do you think?” You assure him that his presentation was great and the clients were impressed, yet he talks on and on while you keep checking your watch and looking at the pile of work that still needs to be done. Needy bosses require a lot of attention and reassurance, but some needy bosses can also micromanage your every move.
Preventive Measures
• Encourage your TOT’s independence and reinforce his own competence.
• Put a plan together to help your boss strategize about how to cover excessive workloads.
• Help your boss learn that other people — and not just you — can serve him as well.
Stubborn
Your team agrees on a solution to a pesky problem. You present it to the boss and she says, “No! That can’t be done.” Your ideas are shot down and the door is figuratively slammed in your face. Access denied. No compromise. For many stubborn office tyrants, compromise takes them out of their comfort zone. In other cases, they feel it diminishes their stature.
Preventive Measures
• Use positive language to relax your boss when she’s stuck in a stubborn rut.
• Know that it’s easier for TOTs to be more flexible if there’s something in it for them.
• Offer choices and compromises that empower your TOT.
Distracted
Your boss was supposed to give you some key facts for VIP clients two days ago. When you remind her, she says, “Oh, of course. I forgot! I’ll send them right over.” Six hours later nothing has arrived in your inbox. You find out she’s gone to take her dog to the poodle parlor. Bosses like this suffer from BADD—Boss Attention Deficit Disorder. They’re only interested in what seems important at any given moment in time and have trouble paying attention to you.
Preventive Measures
• Make communications compelling. Present your thoughts in a powerful, interactive way to prevent detours.
• Add a pinch of excitement. Use props, visual aids, and humor to keep your manager engaged and on target.
• Manage interruptions. Schedule formal meetings (outside your TOT’s office if possible), so that your boss will be better prepared— and less likely to lose focus.
There’s a good chance you’ve encountered more than one bad boss in you career. Who knows, maybe you even act like one yourself on occasion. Just remember, unlike your computer, your boss is human and should be treated as someone who has intelligence and feelings. We are not machines. Everyone can play a role in humanizing the workplace with greater sensitivity to what’s really behind that bad boss facade.
