Archive for the ‘Stress’ Category
Time Off During the Holidays
1December 2011
Holidays are already stressful, especially when you’re in a hurry to finish up loose ends so you can make it out the door. But what if your boss is a TOT who suffers from “separation anxiety” and doesn’t want you to go? The signs include a last minute barrage of questions, unreasonable requests or other obstacles as you try to ease into your holiday plans. Then you end up with “vacation guilt syndrome.”
It’s legitimate for a manager to want to ensure that all bases are covered when you’re gone, but when it causes unnecessary guilt or stress, that’s when you’ve entered the “TOT Zone.” This may be an opportunity to set needed boundaries, albeit with a great deal of empathy and diplomacy.
In my Psychology Today blog, Needy Boss with Holiday “Separation Anxiety?” I give you six tips on how to spot and stop his needy behavior. Once you Tame Your TOT you can relax, reenergize and take on the world in 2012.
Is It Better to Be Liked or Feared?
16November 2011
Do you find your newly promoted manager vacillating between wanting to be feared and needing to be liked? It may be that the new position requires interpersonal skills that the manager doesn’t possess. He was great at his previous job where working solo was a necessity, but how to lead a team currently eludes him.
Therefore, he swings from being a power player —someone who rules the roost through fear—to a pushover— someone who will do anything to please. This can make you feel as if you’re on an emotional roller coaster—trying to determine what type of TOT he’s going to be today.
In my latest BloombergBusinessWeek article I posted that instead of vacillating between being power players and pushovers, leaders should try to earn respect. A recent LinkedIn discussion I led supported this premise. Most members of the Human Resource Management group felt that in order to garner respect, being liked is indeed better than being feared—but that at times some fear of authority is necessary to get the job done.
Has a Terrible Two tantrum ever been thrust upon you? Please take a look at BloombergBusinessWeek for a perspective on how real power thrives on respect.
TOT-taming for Beleaguered Office Workers
6November 2011
TOT-taming is reaching out to more beleaguered office workers this month with articles appearing in Forbes, CBS/MoneyWatch and Media Bistro. Forbes highlighted Seven Ways to Tame an Office Tyrant — don’t let them see you sweat, listen actively, be a role model, be a problem solver, harness strengths and weaknesses, use humor and show empathy. Of course, in my book, there are many more tips. Check them out!
At CBS/MoneyWatch you’ll find suggestions on what to do When Your Boss Acts like a Toddler, which included my favorite acronym: CALM—Communicate, Anticipate, Laugh and Manage. Communicate with your boss openly, honestly and frequently. Anticipate problems before they become larger problems and have solutions ready. Levity helps break tension, diffuses issues and punch through barriers. Managing up doesn’t mean kissing up. It means speaking the truth and setting expectations with your boss.
In Media Bistro’s Dealing with the Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) I told public relations professionals that the onus was on them to spot a TOT and put some real teeth behind that great PR reputation. With some behind the scenes TOT-taming they can increase those moments of agency euphoria.
Try some TOT-taming techniques in November, as the holidays and a short month create a fertile environment for more stress!
The Art Of Quitting (Or Staying)
3May 2011
Jenna Goudreau, who runs a diverse and informative women-oriented column on Forbes.com touches upon a very important subject in her recent article, The Dos And Don’ts Before Leaving Your Job. A study by insurance provider MetLife shows that 36% of workers are planning a fresh start in 2011. If you are one of them, there is a warning for you from career experts, including yours truly: when heading for the exit, “watch your step” and don’t make mistakes that may trip you up in the future.
For example, you should make sure your bosses and co-workers don’t see your departure as a let-down for the company and make the transition as smooth as possible.
“Workplace expert Lynn Taylor, author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant, suggests employees consider their response to a counter offer before they resign,”– the article says. But don’t be lured by money if there are deeper problems with the business or its management.
Whatever the situation might be, I advise against letting negative emotions fly – biting your tongue will increase your chances of a positive recommendation.
Another vital issue is prepping your replacement and following up after you leave. This responsibility, while important, should certainly be limited, and the article quotes my recommendations in this regard.
As the final step, I recommend spending some extra time to look around and tie up loose ends, making sure your “clean break” is literally clean.
The article – that you should read in its entirety – will help you if you are leaving your job, but have you given enough thought to this important step? Is it absolutely the only thing to do? In my recent article for Psychology Today I advise to “look before you leap.” Do this before making your current job a “thing of the past”:
Examine practical risks associated with leaving.
Create a “Solutions” document, to examine what can be done to improve your situation.
Make your “Skills Inventory” and see what additional skills you can offer in your current position.
Revert negative thinking and examine what’s right with your current job, instead of focusing on “wrongs.”
For more, read the complete article here.
Of course, sometimes moving on is the only way to move ahead. That’s why my next blog will be on When It’s Time to Leave Your Job. But for now, let’s have another look at our “bird in the hand” that for some reason we don’t like anymore.
Landing a Survival Job
21January 2011
Today many people are forced to look for jobs below their qualifications. In the current tough economic climate even “settling for less” often presents a challenge and needs to be done right. What advice would you give to candidates seeking “survival jobs” – or use yourself in a tough situation?
Megan Malugani, a contributing writer for Monster.com, quotes opinions from a number of workplace experts (including yours truly) in her recent article: “A survival job should be something you enjoy,” says Lynn Taylor, a workplace expert who is CEO of Santa Monica, California-based Lynn Taylor Consulting and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant. “Your likelihood of landing even a survival job is greater if you demonstrate genuine enthusiasm, so don’t waste anyone’s time with a job you dislike from the start.”
You’d also need to tone down your resume to avoid being perceived as overqualified. Focus your resume and the interview on the actual job at hand.
Above all, stay positive and remember that any experience is an opportunity to learn.
For more tips, read the complete article at Monster.com
