Archive for the ‘Bad Boss Behavior’ Category
Do You Report to a Schoolyard or to Work?
27July 2009
If you’re like many working professionals today, you may feel like you report to a schoolyard or playground each day, not to an office. But perhaps the only mood swings in sight are your boss’s mood swings.
Bad bosses, or what I call Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs™) seem to be making rounds these days, as job loss fears are rampant. With unemployment at 9.5 percent nationally, it’s no wonder. Your boss may seem like the bully at recess who goads you into jumping down from the top of a towering slide. The real-life version being that she asks you to go into her manager’s office – the lion’s den – to confirm the details of Wednesday’s staff meeting.
If you’re running a company, this undoubtedly makes you cringe.
But take heart. In my new book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, I remind people that childish behavior at work is not your imagination! Sand may not be found on the hallway parquet floor, but sandbox politics can be found everywhere if you look closely. Welcome to TOTdom.
Now that you know there’s is nothing wrong with you, and that unruly bosses and children who cannot moderate their power (a.k.a. TOTs) have a lot in common, what can you do? A few tips:
1. Use C.A.L.M. – Be the voice of reason to TOTs:
Communicate – Openly, honestly and frequently;
Anticipate – know when trouble might be coming down the hall, and be prepared with solutions (don’t add to the problem);
Laugh – Humor is the great diffuser of tension, so use it to simmer a heated debate; and
Manage up – As you would with a child, role model the behavior you want to see in your TOT managers, co-workers and your team. Use positive reinforcement, and set limits to bad behavior. Also, avoid enabling your TOT’s management style – it’s an easy trap, as she will often reward you for it!
2. Work hard, but don’t allow needy bosses to consume your life. Needy bosses have “separation anxiety,” and want you to work virtually 24/7. You might want to take a summer vacation, so give your TOT a “countdown” warning: “I’m leaving in 4, 3, 2, 1 week (s), but John is covering for me and all my projects are under control.”
3. Know that angry, irritable and generally bad bosses are usually acting out of fear, so stay clear. TOTs may be stressed out about their own jobs; meeting deadlines; reducing staff or pay; or just being overworked. Don’t allow yourself to be a punching bag. Know your timing, keep your message concise, be focused and non-emotional, and above all, remember that TOT behavior is thankfully NOT ABOUT YOU. Isn’t that a relief?!
You can take specific proactive steps to manage the 20 TOT traits, whether they are of the “bratty” or “little lost lamb” variety. Remember that behind the professional boss façade is often a small child (hanging from the monkey bars in fright!)
Take a moment to check off how many of these traits you face in a day, as an employee or manager. Please let me know through the blog or site contact forms. There are tons of tips and anecdotes in the new book, but I’d like to hear yours!
Bratty Behavior
1. Bragging
2. Bullying
3. Demanding
4. Ignoring
5. Impulsiveness
6. Lying
7. Self-Centeredness
8. Stubbornness
9. Tantrums
10. Territorialism
11. Whining
Little Lost Lambs
12. Endless Questioning
13. Fantasy World
14. Fickleness
15. Helplessness
16. Irrational Fears
17. Forgetfulness
18. Mood Swings
19. Neediness
20. Short Attention Spans
Dial Down Mistrust in the Office
24April 2009
Are you still in shock by reports of Wall Street failures and bailouts? Do you ever relate the performance of these firms to Terrible Office Tyrants or TOTs™ in your company? If you do you’re not alone. Apparently, a bad boss can go under the radar just like global conglomerates until it’s too late.
According to 86% of U.S. adults in a recent independent national survey we commissioned, public failures of large companies are viewed as similar to the much less conspicuous actions of bosses who make poor decisions every day. Both can leave a wake of damage behind them - and no one is aware of it until disaster strikes. (Unlike toddlers, though, the office TOT leaves no juice or chocolate stains to for the CEO to discover!) Unfortunately, sometimes you feel that if you push back on a decision or idea, you may be pushed out!)
Don’t allow these frustrating office situations to ruin your day or your career. If you become catalyst for positive change, you’ll do your part to dial down the mistrust meter. Fine-tune your skills in managing up before things get out of hand. This will not only reduce your stress level. It may be the most strategic career move of your life.
Like so many aspects of achieving success, maintaining an objective, healthy perspective and being proactive can make all the difference. Here are some simple workplace strategies to manage counter-productive office politics:
Provide your managers with highly specific input: Your views matter and may be the “missing piece in the puzzle” that can help your company make better, more informed decisions. You’d be surprised how often your solutions are welcome, and even if one out of five are workable, they will be greatly appreciated. After all, you’re making your boss’s job easier if you have answers.
Don’t allow negativity to devour you: Despite the prevalent “sky is falling” mood in corporate America, keep your eye on the prize with regard to your career and opportunities. When things are in flux, chances for advancement can unfold before you at any time - if you allow them to - and believe it or not, that demeanor will be contagious to your boss.
Make tough times work in your favor: Make it clear your co-workers and your team that you’re a reliable, solutions-oriented person. Read my Managing Up tips under New/Articles, to find out more about how to effect change through diplomacy and problem solving.
Everyone can agree that this is an unusual and very challenging period of our history. But keep in mind that while you can’t control how Wall Street or the economy affects your company, you can help create more positive energy around you. Remember to make skillful communication, problem solving, and peace making a daily goal. Your efforts will reap innumerable benefits now, but especially when the uptick returns!
Learning From 2008, Looking Towards 2009
22December 2008
The year is coming to a close… and in looking back at 2008 (quite a challenging fall and winter in the world of work) and looking ahead at the New Year, here are some thoughts:
1. Tough times manifest themselves in many ways. Bad behaviors (such as territorialism or bullying) can be amplified when bosses are stressed or panicked.
2. When your boss is giving you a hard time, remember, we’re all human. Try to understand the root causes of your boss’s behavior. You’ll have a better chance at working towards a solution if you know what’s behind the problem.
3. A job is not a guarantee, and certainly not today. But employees who have a positive spirit and a desire to work with their boss will always have the best chances for success.
4. Even in a down economy, the American workforce continues to impress with their courage and determination to do its best work.
5. The job market is cyclical. Things may get worse, but “this too shall pass.” Hang in there!
So… farewell to 2008 and welcome to 2009. There are a lot of exciting things happening at tameyourTOT.com and the TOT blog. Keep watching for news, and remember, I’m here to help.
Best regards,
Lynn
Why Do Bosses Panic?
20May 2008
Since some of my recent blog entries have addressed parallels between bosses and children, I wanted to share an excerpt from a recent article I wrote called Childlike Fear, Corporate Consequences. If you’ve ever dealt with a boss who has behaved irrationally, this might help explain why.
“Sometimes Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs)™ panic excessively for no reason, like little tykes. It can be caused by small irritable things, like no breakfast or sleep deprivation — or something seemingly serious, such as a possible dip in profits. But it’s the “possible” that makes the difference between a clear thinking manager and a TOT. Toddlers and young children can have supercharged irrational fears because for them, in the absence of knowledge, anxiety quickly fills the void.”
For ideas and solutions on dealing with fearful bosses, click here to read the full article at www.tameyourtot.com.
Best regards,
Lynn
