Archive for the ‘Bad Boss Behavior’ Category
New Survey Shows Bad Boss Behaviors Are On The Rise
12October 2009
A new survey commissioned by my firm, Lynn Taylor Consulting, finds that bad boss behaviors are on the rise. The five-year, national comparative study looked at bad boss (a.k.a. TOT) traits and childish behavior, such as Stubborn, Self-oriented, Overly demanding, Impulsive, Interruptive and Tantrum-throwing, and found bad boss behaviors rose by 50 percent!
The study, which was conducted from 2004 to 2009, found that “Self-oriented” catapulted to the lead in 2009, swapping places with “Stubborn” in 2004. This means that some bosses are more self-consumed than ever! The survey also found that seven in 10 Americans believe bosses and toddlers with too much power act alike. As I mentioned in BusinessWeek, we are all human and behind your boss’s professional façade is a grown kid who acts out and can’t moderate his or her power.
As I said on Fox news, TOT behaviors can be managed by employees. The whole point of TOT taming is to “manage up” — not to get revenge on your boss, or to fight fire with fire.
My book Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley & Sons) identifies 20 types of bad boss traits and offers concrete solutions to both employees and managers to tame bosses who are acting like misbehaving kids. To order go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Borders.
If you’ve got TOT stories or thoughts on humanizing the workplace, please share your story through my sites or at any of the articles on the home page of TameTourTOT.com. You can also follow me on Twitter.com: @workplaceexpert for my thoughts on boss and leadership matters.
Getting a Distracted Boss’s Attention
22September 2009
Does your boss have the attention span of a fly? While you’re waiting for her to sign off on a report, is she too busy multitasking — dusting off her keyboard, sending e-mails, talking on her phone — to focus on the job at hand? Leaving you without a clue as what to do next?
Most likely, Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs), a.k.a. bad bosses, like this are suffering from work overload, unable to strategize and prioritize. As the Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT), comments and stories on my blogs at BusinessWeek and MSNBC show, when you have a distracted Little Lost Lamb with a short attention span, or other type of bad boss, you endure unnecessary stress and decreased productivity — not helping you, your boss, or the company.
As I discuss in Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, and talked with Anita Bruzesse/GannettOne, what works with small children can help your boss regain focus to get him back on track.
If you’ve got TOT stories or thoughts on humanizing the workplace, please share your story through my sites or at any of the articles on the home page of TameYourTOT.com.
P.S.You can follow me on Twitter.com, too: @workplaceexpert for my thoughts on boss and leadership matters.
You can also order newly released Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, (John Wiley & Sons) at your local bookstore or: Amazon, Barnes & Noble.com or Borders.
When Bad Bosses a.k.a. TOTs, Mark Their Spot
28August 2009
The recession isn’t over yet, but some economic sectors are sprouting again, so bad bosses, a.k.a. TOTs, are taking this opportunity to act out in some specific ways.
As BusinessWeek and MSNBC point out this week, Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs)™ are in full season.
In particular, TOTs are now marking their territories like never before. Maybe they’re attempting to amass office space, sales forces, or “marking” sales territories with hoarded executive office pens! They might as well hang a sign on their doors that reads “This is MINE; go get your own stuff!” Territorialism is rampant, as mentioned in detail in my Psychology Today blog and in Forbes.com.
The problem is you have just been assigned a part of your TOT’s old sales territory - and he’s not real happy about it - even though he’s been your mentor for 11 years and you have diligently learned some of his best sales techniques. Now he is calling on his former clients, telling them that you’re a “rookie” and they should contact him because he’s the “real deal.”
What makes your Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) display her territorial claims in the office?
It stands to reason that the same skills your TOT used to survive childhood and/or a former job would serve your boss well in the hand-to-hand combat of corporate life, as explained in Psychology Today entitled “Why Bosses Act Like Toddlers.” The goal is to get stuff - and keep it. Your goal is to have your TOT let go of it.
To avert conflicts, make sure that your TOT knows how much you value his or her mentoring. Promise that you’ll provide updates on former clients regularly.
Once your boss realizes that you’re not a threat, but an asset that will help the company grow, you’ll mitigate the power grab syndrome. In Tame Your Terrible Office TyrantTM (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, there are many more suggestions on how to handle difficult bosses.
Territorialism is just one of 20 Terrible Office Tyrant behaviors outlined in my book, by chapter. I am often asked to describe them. See if you can find one, two or more of these bad behaviors in your boss or co-workers in a given day or week:
BRATTY
These are the more aggressive traits that are typically activated when your TOT is operating under stress, has been taught that this behavior will achieve self-serving results, or your boss is fearful of an impending outcome:
1. Bragging
2. Bullying
3. Demanding
4. Ignoring
5. Impulsiveness
6. Lying
7. Self-Centeredness
8. Stubbornness
9. Tantrums
10. Territorialism
LITTLE LOST LAMBS
These traits are often born out of incompetence or general fear of inadequacy. While they seem benign, these boss behaviors can be just as irritating - and equally as unproductive in the workplace.
11. Whining
12. Endless Questioning
13. Fantasy World
14. Fickleness
15. Helplessness
16. Irrational Fears
17. Forgetfulness
18. Mood Swings
19. Neediness
20. Short Attention Spans
For more details on how to deal with bad bosses, TOTs and territorialism, you can order the book at Amazon, Barnes&Noble.com or Borders.
Timing Helps with Bad Bosses
14August 2009
When workplace frustrations seem overwhelming because of a cranky, bad or childish boss, a.k.a., a Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT), you can quit - or decide what you want and go for it. If you like your job and are up for the challenge, then here’s my advice—focus on getting your timing right.
As TOT readers know, and as explained in Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, getting your toddlers and boss to listen to you often requires the same principles—and one is good timing.
As national career columnist Joyce Lain Kennedy mentions in her article Dealing with a bad boss isn’t easy for hamptonroads.com, and VIVMag.com states, both bad bosses and children behave in strikingly similar ways. Also see the Boston Globe’s hilariously pictorial pages of these TOT behaviors at Boston.com (in fact, you can go ahead and vote and view results).
Toddlers throw tantrums, scream “No!” and can be stubbornly demanding. Badly behaving bosses can have sudden angry outbursts, and say “No!” without any apparent reason.
Knowing how to tame your TOT will give you control and help you get what you want out of your job; and timing is critical. That includes staying out of the line of fire, as mentioned in my interview with career luminary Tory Johnson on GMA/ABC-News for “The Job Club.”
As a young mother, I learned that it was highly unwise to take my two tykes down the candy isle when it was feeding time. Taking your boss down the cubicle aisle at 11:30 a.m. while trying to get project approval? - also a bad idea.
To avoid a boss’s tantrum, plan ahead. You’ve schedule an afternoon meeting, so make sure there are high protein snacks available. They help regulate blood sugar. If you go for the sugary snacks, then you are just adding to the blood spiking problem, which will result in a later crash and fatigue. It can bring out Demanding, Fearful and other TOT inclinations (i.e., the worst in anyone.) See my regular blogs on Psychology Today, including one on Demanding bosses.
Remember to use timing to your advantage. Both you and your boss will be healthier for it. Also, try to plan meetings for earlier in the day when everyone is fresh and mental activity is up and running. Be fully prepared and confident in your skills, secure in your work achievements, and then put your timing plan to work.
With your good timing plan in hand (or securely in your head) you can tame you Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) and work comfortable in the office playground. For more details on timing and TOTs, order the book at Amazon, Barnes&Noble.com or Borders.
P.S. I thoroughly enjoyed my interview today with Terri Trespicio, the host of SIRIUS Radio “Martha Stewart Whole Living.” (Visit TameYourTOT.com to listen.) She is a real pro and knew precisely what the book and topic was about; a lot of fun! Great caller questions, too.
Do You Report to a Schoolyard or to Work?
27July 2009
If you’re like many working professionals today, you may feel like you report to a schoolyard or playground each day, not to an office. But perhaps the only mood swings in sight are your boss’s mood swings.
Bad bosses, or what I call Terrible Office Tyrants (TOTs™) seem to be making rounds these days, as job loss fears are rampant. With unemployment at 9.5 percent nationally, it’s no wonder. Your boss may seem like the bully at recess who goads you into jumping down from the top of a towering slide. The real-life version being that she asks you to go into her manager’s office – the lion’s den – to confirm the details of Wednesday’s staff meeting.
If you’re running a company, this undoubtedly makes you cringe.
But take heart. In my new book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, I remind people that childish behavior at work is not your imagination! Sand may not be found on the hallway parquet floor, but sandbox politics can be found everywhere if you look closely. Welcome to TOTdom.
Now that you know there’s is nothing wrong with you, and that unruly bosses and children who cannot moderate their power (a.k.a. TOTs) have a lot in common, what can you do? A few tips:
1. Use C.A.L.M. – Be the voice of reason to TOTs:
Communicate – Openly, honestly and frequently;
Anticipate – know when trouble might be coming down the hall, and be prepared with solutions (don’t add to the problem);
Laugh – Humor is the great diffuser of tension, so use it to simmer a heated debate; and
Manage up – As you would with a child, role model the behavior you want to see in your TOT managers, co-workers and your team. Use positive reinforcement, and set limits to bad behavior. Also, avoid enabling your TOT’s management style – it’s an easy trap, as she will often reward you for it!
2. Work hard, but don’t allow needy bosses to consume your life. Needy bosses have “separation anxiety,” and want you to work virtually 24/7. You might want to take a summer vacation, so give your TOT a “countdown” warning: “I’m leaving in 4, 3, 2, 1 week (s), but John is covering for me and all my projects are under control.”
3. Know that angry, irritable and generally bad bosses are usually acting out of fear, so stay clear. TOTs may be stressed out about their own jobs; meeting deadlines; reducing staff or pay; or just being overworked. Don’t allow yourself to be a punching bag. Know your timing, keep your message concise, be focused and non-emotional, and above all, remember that TOT behavior is thankfully NOT ABOUT YOU. Isn’t that a relief?!
You can take specific proactive steps to manage the 20 TOT traits, whether they are of the “bratty” or “little lost lamb” variety. Remember that behind the professional boss façade is often a small child (hanging from the monkey bars in fright!)
Take a moment to check off how many of these traits you face in a day, as an employee or manager. Please let me know through the blog or site contact forms. There are tons of tips and anecdotes in the new book, but I’d like to hear yours!
Bratty Behavior
1. Bragging
2. Bullying
3. Demanding
4. Ignoring
5. Impulsiveness
6. Lying
7. Self-Centeredness
8. Stubbornness
9. Tantrums
10. Territorialism
11. Whining
Little Lost Lambs
12. Endless Questioning
13. Fantasy World
14. Fickleness
15. Helplessness
16. Irrational Fears
17. Forgetfulness
18. Mood Swings
19. Neediness
20. Short Attention Spans
