Archive for the ‘Bad Boss Behavior’ Category
Is Your Career Poised for Success in 2010?
29December 2009
In Psychology Today.com, I talk about how you can shore up your job and career skills for 2010, and I’d like to address that here. I also hope that the New Year brings you much joy in your career, and life!
Many had to settle for a less-than-agreeable (or bad) boss, take a pay cut, or were laid off in 2009. But 2010 is upon us, and here’s a brief metaphor: 2010 is the Chinese Year of the Tiger, and the tiger is known for its strength and strategic skills in getting results. Without being a predator, you can be aggressive about achieving your career goals in the New Year.
First, decide what your heartfelt objectives are, then set your own rules. You do possess needed skills and company know-how. Replacing you costs time and money. So if you like the job you’re currently in, but not the terms, now is the time to fine-tune them to dial up your satisfaction level.
Assess your weaknesses. Clarify what you want more, or less of. How can you better manage your boss or co-workers? Learn how to better control office challenges by through reading, training and professional development. If fear has held you back, consider if it’s time to move on to the “great unknown.” Design your career objectives based on what would bring you the best long-term happiness. Then, pounce.
Regardless of your choice, the macro environment we’re in dictates a few requirements that will keep you at the top of your game:
• Make human relations skills your priority for 2010. Just because it’s a tech world on steroids doesn’t mean we must lose our humanity. In fact you can counter this trend by increasing yours. Even if those around you regress to virtual toddlers (Terrible Office Tyrants, or TOTs, as I call them) in the pressure cooker recession environment, ratchet up your “interpersonal intelligence” to set you apart from the rest in 2010.
• Take the initiative. Like so many aspects of achieving success, maintaining an objective, healthy perspective and being a proactive problem solver can make all the difference. Learn how to manage up and around you when the need arises. Reinforce positive behavior with your boss and others, which is a transferable skill.
• Keep Your Eye on the Prize. Despite the prevalent “sky is falling” mood in corporate America, stay focused and positive on fulfilling your career dreams. When things are in flux, chances for advancement can unfold before you at any time - if you allow them to. That practice will be contagious to most any boss and inspiring to co-workers.
• Reach Out - With Precision. Regardless of whether you’re making job move, networking is essential to career success, and who you know does make a difference. However, choose your venues wisely; time is a non-renewable resource. Master social networking tools, such as LinkedIn groups, blogs and Twitter, as well as targeted trade groups in your area. Reach out to contacts who are helpful, but also be of value to others in return.
• What Are You Saying? With text messaging, e-mails and hurried memos, your writing skills can deteriorate into a terse, nonsensical mess. Recipients may spend needless time trying to decipher what you mean, or worse, take it the wrong way. Take classes in writing and public speaking so that you can better sell your ideas and put your best foot forward in business.
• The 2.0 You. No matter how much experience you have, you can always become more tech savvy. Now is the time to not only upgrade, but to learn skills outside your comfort zone. Jobs are becoming increasingly specialized over time, and so is software that supports those positions. The willingness to learn continually is an invaluable asset.
Make 2010 the year of bold decision-making that you may have been putting off. (Just be careful to sharpen your skills, not your claws, as you set your sights on your goal.)
A sunny, helpful, open and positive disposition - combined with a thirst for knowledge - are the real “killer” skills that will last beyond 2010. They will last a lifetime.
HOLIDAY OFFICE TALES FOR THE BAD BOSS BLUES
3December 2009
In case you missed it, here is a recap of some chilly bad boss stories that should bring some levity, holiday cheer, or at least commiseration to your day - along with some coping tips:
If you’ve been working for a Grinch, Ice Queen or a “Tiny TOT” boss during the past tumultuous year, there is hope – or at least holiday cheer of the commiseration kind.
In a recent national survey commissioned by Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert, respondents shared boss anecdotes that were more reminiscent of amped-up tots in toyland than professionals at work. Says Taylor, “The study’s anecdotes are proof positive that when it comes to the office, ‘the child within’ should stay there.”
Taylor, author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley), is CEO of Lynn Taylor Consulting (LTC), which coaches CEOs on boosting morale and profits – that is, mitigating “TOT” (Terrible Office Tyrant) behavior that hurts productivity. The global firm that conducted the survey collected over 1,000 boss stories, some of which follow:
Tantrum Throwing
· “The boss missed his flu shot and started screaming at me so that the entire office heard him.” (Obviously something was already “bugging” him.)
· “The senior VP threw a fit because a new employee took the last cookie in the break room.” (Maybe there was no warm milk there, either.)
· “As he stomped out of company meetings the boss would growl under his breath.” (These days if you listen closely, it’s “Bah, humbug.”)
· “At the headquarters office, she’d wag her finger, then immediately throw something.” (Her rattle, perhaps?)
· “The boss called everything we did ‘trash.’ Then one day the owner overheard it, and he was dismissed in two weeks.” (Was Santa peeking through the vent?)
· “My boss left her briefcase at a client’s office, and then screamed at me because I didn’t immediately have an answer for what to do.” (A good case for having that handy Magic 8-Ball.)
Taylor says that toddlers and “Terrible Office Tyrants,” whether bosses, co-workers or team members, both throw tantrums because they all have trouble modulating their power. She offers some solace, however: “If there’s something in it for your boss, you can usually effect change.”
Taylor suggests using C.A.L.M. when managers slip into TOT moments:
Communicate – Bravely and frequently reach out to your boss – and be aware of your TOT’s preferred communication method, e.g., e-mails, voice mails, meetings or texts.
Anticipate – Know your timing, and bring solutions to meetings, not problems.
Laugh – Use levity to break down barriers and forge bonds, even with seeming adversaries.
Manage – Assume a “parental” role without patronizing, use proactive problem solving and positive role modeling, but always set limits to bad behavior. If matters are egregious or escalate, take more serious action.
Self-Centered
· “My boss decided to move into a larger office, so he made every employee move to accommodate him.” (He was always good at “musical chairs.”)
· “She asked me to go get her a latte and a biscotti. I got into a car accident, and when I got back, she only asked me if I got her the food.” (Was she teething?)
· “The team received a plaque for developing a great program, but the boss hung it in his office even though he didn’t play any role at all.” (And he basked in his reflection off its epoxy resin.)
· “My boss said I could not speak with her unless I first asked permission.” (Would that be “Mother may I?”)
· “The CEO almost rammed my car when I parked in an unmarked spot that ‘belonged’ to her.” (She needed to learn not to break other people’s toys.)
· “My manager made me work late because her boss took a day off for shopping, and my manager couldn‘t.” (“If I can’t have fun no one else will either!” said the Grinch.)
A related survey commissioned by Lynn Taylor Consulting found that bad, childish boss behaviors have increased over a five-year period, with self-centeredness moving to the top. The good news, according to Taylor, is that these traits can be defused by understanding their causes and by being proactive.
Needy
· “My boss gave gifts to those employees who kissed up to him, not those who did the best work.“ (He never really “got” those Rudolph lyrics.)
· “The boss would spend the first half hour in the morning singing and the whole department was forced to listen.” (He was out of tune with the need for peace on earth and goodwill to staff.)
· “At Friday staff meetings, our boss would often ask if we wanted to hang with her, which we didn’t.” (A severe case of separation anxiety.)
· “He asked me five times if I thought his wireless presentation made a good impression.” (Look Ma, no hands!)
· “The boss would come by every two hours to see if I ‘needed any help.’” (Pacifier anyone?)
· “Our boss loves to talk and so she keeps all kinds of candy in her office so people will come in.” (It’s the most wonderful time…of her day!)
“Keep in mind,” Taylor says, “that a needy TOT can have an overwhelming feeling of neglect, but this can be a good time to get your projects approved.”
Taylor’s holiday tip: if your boss is a TOT or Scrooge don’t allow your holidays to be hijacked. According to Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT), you can learn to manage your manager, while you humanize your workplace. You’ll have a healthier start to 2010 – and others will thank you for it.
Watch YouTube for additional childish boss stories.
People Share Childish, Bad Boss Stories on YouTube
21October 2009
Many people in L.A. on Boss’s Day couldn’t resist using levity to discuss bad, childish bosses once they saw the angry yet fearful, 6.5′ TOT boss with his famed pacifier. I guess humor helps us make a point - or at least deal with annoying, seething (or teething!) people. I often say that humor is the shortest pipeline to the memory banks.
Let’s face it, when bosses (or co-workers) act like toddlers, you sometimes have to laugh to yourself, and then do your best to use your parenting skills. My book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, is about the most common, everyday variety of bad episodic behavior that we can all fall into if not careful. (Tyrannical bullies who are lawsuit-worthy certainly are not laughable.)
It was nice to hear some positive stories from both workers and enlightened anti-TOT bosses, too. I spoke with many more great people who we couldn’t get on camera due to the short length of these videos. If you’re one of them, thank you for your time and great insight; I wish we could have had it run for a half hour!
When it comes to the office, “the child within” should certainly stay there. Here’s proof: the YouTube video clip on funny, bad/childish boss stories, with the TOT boss looking a bit aloof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYQSOZEMVCI
We can humanize the workplace - together!
TOT Boss Gets Interest in Santa Monica on Boss Day
19October 2009
Here’s a glimpse of last Friday’s event for National Boss Day on the famed 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, CA, October 16, 2009. Scores of people told their personal anecdotes of good and bad boss behavior on tape. Many talked about the way they manage, and some even ran family businesses - with team members going at it on-camera (good naturedly, of course!) They agreed with the premise of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT): How To Manage Childish Bosses & Thrive in Your Job… Author Reprimands TOT on Boss Day
I reminded the TOT boss that this anniversary was a good time to start behaving like an adult, for the sake of humanity and office productivity. But he looked away. Videos to come.
National Boss Day in L.A.: Tell Your Tales
13October 2009
For National Boss Day, I’ll be conducting person-on-the-street interviews with office workers in Los Angeles on Thursday, October 15th and Friday, October 16th, on the busy Third Street Promenade at the corner of Wilshire and 3rd in Santa Monica. If you live in the Southland, please join us and share your insights, good and bad, on bosses and work.
Videos of these testimonials, along with the backdrop of our famed TOT: a tall, life-size TOT-boss icon from Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT), will be posted online at various sites, including www.TameYourTOT.com.
On National Boss Day, each October 16th, millions of employees thank their bosses for their leadership and bigheartedness. Due to the current recession and tough job market, this year provides a unique opportunity for workers and managers to have a useful dialog about more productive interpersonal relations in the office during uncertain times.
The current environment has exacerbated bad boss behaviors, turning normally even-tempered bosses into Terrible Office Tyrants™, or TOTs. As you may know, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT); How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley & Sons), talks about “parenting” unruly managers who resemble tots in their “Terrible Twos.” For managers, it addresses how to create a “safe for success, humanized workplace,” that is TOT-free.
TOT Boss Icon to Make Premier Public Debut
On both days, a 6’ 5” Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) featured on the book cover will be present. The overgrown tyke, angry yet fearful with a large pacifier in his mouth - is designed to illustrate that behind the tough exterior of many bosses is often a toddler who has trouble modulating power. That’s because TOT episodes can be a human condition if not kept in check, whether we’re two or 52.
Event Coincides with New Boss Research
The on-the-street interviews on National Boss Day coincide with the release of Lynn Taylor Consulting’s (LTC’s) new national study on bad and childish boss behavior. Conducted by an independent global research firm and commissioned by LTC, the national five-year comparative study of boss behaviors found at TameYourTOT.com under “Survey Findings,” revealed increases of up to 50% in such childish traits as self-oriented, impulsiveness and stubbornness.
Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant™ (TOT) represents seven years of research, interviews and my insights on dealing with frustrating managerial and workplace situations while thriving in one’s job. It covers 20 of the most common behaviors by chapter, from the “bratty” to “little lost lamb” traits – including overly demanding, stubborn, tantrum-throwing, to moody, fickle and whiny behavior, to name a few – featuring true anecdotes and tips. There is also a special section for CEOs who want to mitigate harmful Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT) behavior, and throughout the book, bosses gain insight on what not to do with their teams.
Managing up requires awareness of core human instincts, while at the same time setting limits as you would with a child, minus the patronizing. While this is a serious subject, I strongly believe that humor is the shortest pipeline to the memory banks. If I don’t see you later this week, I hope you have a GOOD Boss Day.
